Pain Relieving, my story of choice today...

Sunday Oct 18, 2009
I am just getting to the computer at 3:30pm today. I am having pain. Yeah… just watching that… I am feeling angry. Where is all my pain relief???

I am finding that if I hold on to the tooth for a couple minutes, applying pressure… that the pain lets up… that’s interesting. It seems to come back when I am distracted from this. I have been here an hour and Jean keeps talking to me. I have to be careful about taking a drink of water once I get it settled down. I have to be careful about talking. Even though, it keeps coming back. This is some pretty intense pain. Yeah… what a great story… I don’t want to go to the dentist. I will just sit here with one hand in my mouth putting pressure on the pain since that relieves it… sometimes only typing with one hand. Ha-ha, ha. I should get an award for this performance. I have food sitting all around me. There are apples, grapes, pears, oranges and nuts and water. That is very interesting. I had my fiber powder in my coffee today.

I have eaten some grapes… a pomegranate… I never ate one of those before. It’s all very interesting and messy and it tastes good but today wasn’t the best day for it because, ever since, the pain has been screaming and I have been watching. Hmmm. What if I go watch something else? Yeah… that’s not easy. Hmmm. But maybe I can rewrite this? Can I just think anything into being or are their limitations? Do I have to pay attention to limitations? Hmmm. No, there are no limitations in the moment. I do not have to be overcome by anything. (Maniacal laughter…)

I could freeze my jaw with an ice pack. Numbing relieves pain. That sounds kind of evasive. Hmmm.

No matter what story I am telling… I am still the part about how being with what is, without emotional arousal is calm. Ha-ha. The goal is to be calm no matter how the storm goes. The goal is to be without doubt. The goal is to live each moment without getting all excited one way or the other. Yeah… no desire for anything anymore. The end of desire is the end of suffering… Therefore, toothache, Sunday… stay home and do not move my mouth. Give myself relief by putting pressure for a while on the tooth, sip water on the left side of my mouth. Hmmm. Those actions are helping reduce the pain. Now I can stand it. It isn’t too bad right now. That’s better. Just pay attention to that right now… watch my behavior closely and do certain things and there… feeling better. I need to concentrate on being hydrated today. I need to eat what fruits or veggies or protein that will take into account the tooth stuffs, all I need are little nibbles… I will continue to eat healthy foods as I can today. I will do whatever I need to do to calmly keep my health in mind. I can make my decisions as they need to be made.

I just spent many years being vitamin D deficient. Teeth problems are a reaction to that. Pain is a reaction to that. I like what my son said to me the other day… “I am 29 years old… if I start right now it should take me about 29 years to undo it all.”

I just noticed. I am pain free. It is gone. I don’t feel it. I found the pain reliever self. I can relieve my pain by being kind to myself, by taking care of myself in this moment. There is no more blame and shame in me. In my mind… I am standing back and looking astonished… my hair is blown back. My body however is just taking it all in stride… it is very happy with me right now. I am being kind to it. I am healing my body with nutrition, movement and resourceful thoughts, decisions, beliefs and actions. I am having a nice room temperature yogurt. Ummm… that last bit of veggie soup should be soft to eat, yeah...

I can allow my body to heal me. I can get through the pain of a tooth nerve dying. My body, with proper nutrition and care can carry away the dead nerve, I am visualizing a dead nerve being carried away by mourners. Ha-ha. The body knows how to keep house. I can trust the body, more than ever… now that I am treating it properly. I will make sure to use magnesium oil today for nourishing on a cellular level. I will make sure to get some fresh ginger for the inflammation.

The yogurt and talking to Jean have brought the pain back a bit.

But now that I just read back what I wrote today… the pain is gone again. Imagine that. Now we are so happy... we do the dance of joy! Ha-ha... a quote from Balky on that one tv show from years ago... the dance of joy today is the care and feeding of this fifty year old woman.

I have self-control now. That’s an excellent construct.