So, I Make My Statements and then I let go of the Outcomes.
People like me, who have been lying in bed for months, weeks, years… It is So Incredibly Possible to Get Well… Trust the Feeling These Words Give You… They are Embued With The Power of God… We are Still Writing God's Story Even Now. What kind of Stories are We Telling? I got Here Only a Few Short Months Ago… I made the Leap to Health 1 Day in August 2009, in my mental health facility waiting room. Ha Ha. I Was Reading a Treatise of Peace Written by Pema Chodron.
I Was Deciding About Reducing My Medications that day. I was starting to have some amazing control over food. I was a bit startled by that in my thinking. I don't know. I am diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and everything I have read lately about it resonates. (I Have Shut Off the Pain Alarm That Fibromyalgia Turns On In My Brain/Mind. I can Actually do this when you consider Quantum Mechanics. I Can Consciously Shut Off an Errant Brain Chemical From Being Released with QM. How Cool Is That?)
I did it! Dance of Joy! I did my first PACE exercise time. Ha ha ha! I made Jean get up with me afterwards and we did the Dance of Joy! I had to drag him out of his chair. We didn't prolong it. He felt better, I could tell. I felt I had sufficiently reinforced the PACE behavior.
I Am a Person of Exercise and Movement. Ha! The Exercise Word Is Okay Now. I remember when I had to Replace it with the Movement word to make the Concept more palatable.
- I hate what is going on…
- God… Help Me Love What Is Going On
- Yeah… It's Possible… I Am Here In This Moment and I Am Grateful On A Cellular Level. I Have Allowed the Energy of Gratefulness to Permeate This Body… The 'Feeling' Flows Through Me. I Have a New Operating System.
I just had a vision of myself… I saw Myself Talking to someone…I was relating with someone and… I Stood Up and did a relatively energetic Dance. It was something that I cannot do at this moment but I will be doing in some soon moment. So I did my Dance and then I described the way I move Right Now and in the past 4 years. I was bedridden for 3 years solid. I spent several months in a homeless shelter during that time. This happens to folks who have mental illness and physical illness and who don't have a strong enough support system.
I have lost contact with a dear friend. She is living on the streets again. It is such a hard life. It was hard for me with her… she rejects anything that might upset her wagon. She has a schizophrenic brain/mind. Mental Illness is hard to get through… to get here in the now. To consider a new way of looking at things was too hard for her and I didn't know how to help her.
I Am Telling You That Your Eyes Have Opened Up… You are already there. Stop Living In Past or Future… that's a way to get there faster… to somewhere you already are.
You Already Have It. Open Your Eyes to what is Right in Front of You. Stop telling stories About the Past or Future and you will be Free. You Have It. It Is You; It Is God. Look God full in the face.
OMG. I Am Perfectly Resourceful. I Am On Automatic Now. The only Thing I Had to Do Was… Say I Was. The 'I Am' statements cause Being. I am up to 58 'I Am' statements. Just Do It. Say It. Write It. This Will Bring You to It. To What Is. To Yourself. You Have Everything You Need. What Story Do You Want to Tell? Tell the Story. The Telling Becomes the Story. This is a Scary Super Power. You may be Conflicted about how you feel, or think about it. That causes Fear. Fear gums everything up. It has the quality of gook or slime or spit-out pomegranate seeds. First, decide not to have any more fear. Make it into a statement. Every time you find yourself having a fear… Get curious about it and approach it will friendliness and acceptance. The more you look at it, with a calm (non-directive) outlook, the more you see that fear is an illusion. Aha, now You See The Tricksy Brain/Mind (not) Understanding and it is illusion. Decide not to fear. Write It Down. Tell That Story. The Telling Becomes the Story. This makes perfect sense in Non-Dual. Tell the Story of Beautiful Effortless Doing absolutely void of fear. The moment you wrestle fear down, you become Enlightened. You decide if you have fear. Don't write the word 'fear' though. Turn your attention AWAY from fear. Write this down and then say it over and over and ponder it often… I Am Total Clarity. I See What Is.
I Am (This), written down or spoken with Belief and Faith and Certainty, produces… I Am (this). You Have to Be Okay With How Things Are along the way. We major physical-mental-world fuck ups are already good at Being Okay With How Things Are (or we are bitter). This is actually an important skill. Hang on to that. Use it as you Intend.
- Intend. (Your 'I Am' statements are Your Intentions.)
- Be Certain and Have Faith.
- Stand Back. (Experience the Spaciousness.)
- Let Go Of The Outcome.
- Be Okay With How Things Are.
- Read This: Eating a Pomegranate is fun. It is a Great Experience. When you first start chewing… the most incredible sweet juiciness leads to this gritty yucky feeling of the seeds and you have to spit them out. Before Enlightenment, eat pomegranate and spit seeds (and then lay down). After Enlightenment, eat pomegranates, spit seeds, and (then write about it).
Can you see why this is lighting me up like this? Can you see why this might be such a Mountain Top Experience for me? I have been in bed, making all this up. Ha ha. All this Time, in my not-doingness, I found out How To Be In The Moment.
Jean baked some fresh fish tonight with spices until it was crispy. It was actually good. It was chewy and tasty, a little bit salty, not quite as dry as dried fish. We had slightly steamed broccoli and tomato basil wild rice. Yummy. It was a Feast. He made a comment in the kitchen when we were serving it up, he said, "Isn't that plate kind of small?" I thought the plate was huge. (I notice he is using smaller plates than he used to. Hmmm.) I am watching what's going on around me.
Watch Everything. Figure out why it is here and if you want it to happen again.
sandrabeing
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