• ESSENTIAL NVC (Nonviolent Communication) PRINCIPLE (Empathy)

I found this Incredibly Profound. NVC has my (divided by body healing considerations) focus right now.

 

This is from a training by Dr Marshall Rosenberg… (Excerpt from) Transcript of 2-day Advanced Intensive

—Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

October 21, 2000
Bainbridge Commons
Bainbridge Island, Washington, USA

 

This is from Dr Marshall Rosenberg:

http://www.cnvc.org/en/what-nvc/class-notes/training-day-2/nvc-nonviolent-communication.

 

Three ways to know you're in empathy (i.e., making the connection):

1. Intention.
   

   Be aware of the intention behind offering empathy to another person. It's important that you be conscious you're not giving empathy for the other person's benefit.
   
   Don't listen unless it meets your need to connect with the divine energy.
   By that, I mean that to know God, we have to know people. It's a deep need, our need to connect with the beauty, the divine energy in this person, to be in harmony, to flow with that divine energy.
   
   We give empathy to others for our own benefit. With this intention, you can't tell which is the giver and which is the receiver. We don't do it for the other person, because that puts them in the one-down position of being helped. There is life coming through this other person, and we meet our need by connecting with it.
   

2. Presence.
   

   This means we can't bring anything from the past chattering in our heads, such as theories about humans. The more you know the person in front of you, the harder it will be to empathize. That's why Martin Buber says our presence is such a precious gift to give another. It's approaching this moment like a newborn infant. That infant has never been before and will never be again. I learned this when I worked in mental hospitals and found that the best way to connect with the patient was not to read any of the reports.
   

3. Focus.
   

   The focus
   is on what's alive in the person now in this moment. The best way to do that is staying connected to feelings and needs, especially the past feelings that are the root of the present feelings. The person may be wandering around with reference to past, memories, etc., but you don't go there with them. Just stay connected to the needs and feelings behind what they're expressing.
   

All of this can be done silently. The most important parts of empathy are done silently.

These NVC (nonviolent communication) people are speaking the language of Peace. This is Peace Happening. I Am Completely Blown Away by these people's writings. This is An Awesome Construct. It is Beyond Resourceful. Wow. This is the Language of the Evolutionary Leapt. I Am Awed. I am Looking at Everything with New Eyes and All I See is Beauty. This is Incredible. I Am Adopting This Construct into my Operating System… ha ha, ha. I Am Allowing this Software Patch to Download into my Brain/Mind. I am reading and learning (without effort). The Reading and Learning are Happening.

All I have to do is Order My Thoughts in the most Resourceful Way. Then 'the doing' just 'happens'. That is what NVC has accomplished. Peace is Happening! NVC is The Proof. This just keeps getting better. (Waves of Gratitude are rolling over me.)